From Where You Are

I heard this song for the first time today and I just missed you so much more. Whoever said time heals all wounds was lying.





So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you
So far away from where you are
Standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things I never thought that they'd mean everything to me
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

I feel the beating of your heart
I see the shadows of your face
Just know that wherever you are
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

Saying Names

I can't believe we're only two weeks to September now. And as I write these words, I can't help but feel sad because September (19th, specifically) marks two years since Christi passed away. Two years is such a long time. It's too long. It's too long for parents to miss their child and for a sister to go without her best friend. It's simply too long. Time can be so unforgiving that way. It just keeps right on going when you wish most that it would stop, even if only for a moment, to recognize this great loss.

I'm sorry that I can't be "cheerful tonight". I don't mean to be depressing, that's not my intention at all, but I need to be honest. I want to take a moment to share with you the wonder that is Christi- how one life could have such an impact on the world- even if she was only here for 9 years. And, more importantly, I wanted to say her name: Christi Thomas.

You see, when my brother died, we stopped saying his name. I whispered it among my sisters, carefully, when no one was around, but never out loud. I still have a lot of trouble saying his name today. And, for some reason, through Christi, it is easier for me to speak of Manny. Not only does she, and her entire family, remain an important part of my life, but they helped with something much deeper and for which I will never be able to thank them; I have not yet found the words.

I need to keep saying Christi's name because she deserves to be remembered. People are always so afraid of death (understandably) and it can be painful to speak of those important to us (trust me, I understand this), but they still deserve to be acknowledged. No one is ever truly gone until we have forgotten them. And I will never forget Christi.

This is what I think about as I run. It's what gets me up at 5am, and it is what convinces me that running 13 miles is worth it at all. While I enjoy running, I run as I do now for a purpose: to help keep Christi's memory alive and to share her story with others. In contributing to her Memorial Fund, it ensures that she will be forever remembered regardless of the time that may pass. It's a way, if you will, of winning over time's unforgiving pace.

I do all and any of this because I can. Because it is so very important to me to keep her name resounding in the universe. And for as long as I can, to whomever will listen, I will say her name, so that others can hear it, and understand her wonder, and keep her spirit alive.

Sadly, I report that I did nothing eventful this weekend. I had many plans and nothing really came of any of them (other than the running and the two hour walk I did this morning) *sigh*.

Tomorrow it is back to work. We'll celebrate one of my co-workers birthdays over bagels, fruit, and sparkling wine, and then get back to work. I plan on getting in another run before my 1.5 hour reading session on NYC mass transit.

For now, I am going to run out to the supermarket for some last minute party goodies. And then I'll spend another few hours sitting in front of the TV watching gymnastics. It's my favorite Olympic sport. That, and watching Michael Phelps kick some serious swimming butt.

The First

I wish I had something insightful or witty to share on my first blog post, but sadly, I can't think of anything really.

I had a great run today. I was aiming to go out for 1.5 hours, but I got up late (9am) and only went out for an hour. I say 9am is late because in NYC, August can get hot and humid quickly. Running at 9am, I knew it would be hard to motivate myself to stay out much past 10am.

I stayed at my cousin's apartment in Manhattan last week "house sitting" while she was in Spain, visiting her parents. The 30 minute commute to work spoiled me rotten. My commute on Monday will go back to the standard 1.5 hours. But, at least I'll get more reading time in, right?

Besides, at least in Whitestone no one decides to ring your bell incessantly for 30 minutes at 4:30 in the morning. At times, there is a lot to be said for distance, and not so much for living right next to a bar.