Today

Today, thousands of children across NYC are going back to school. They will begin a year of learning about addition, and subtraction, and history, and science. Their days will be filled with assemblies, art projects and after school activities. They will meet new teachers and make more friends. They will grow, and dream, and get one year older.

Today, 46 children will be diagnosed with cancer. They will spend this year learning about chemo and IVs. They will learn to swallow pills and to be careful with germs. They will spend more time with their doctors and nurses than they will with their teachers and classmates. They will miss countless school days, class trips, and special school events. Their hospital room will be their classroom. They will grow wise beyond their years. They will become braver and stronger and more resilient than most of us could ever imagine. They will fight for their lives, and not for a spot on the soccer team.

Today, 7 children will die from cancer. They will miss a lifetime of learning and growing. They will miss a lifetime of waking up early and packing their book bags. They will miss a lifetime of making new friends and running out to recess. They will miss a lifetime filled with the dreams all children carry. Their families will miss their warm hugs, their contagious laughter, and all of the hope that their children brought with them the day they were born.


Today.

Are you aware? If not, it’s time to be. There is no more time to wait. Visit Kids Cancer Crusade, Erin's Dream Lanyards, Alex's Lemonade Stand, and the Children's Neuroblastoma Cancer Foundation (to name but a few organizations) to learn more about what you can do to brighten a sick child’s day, bring hope to a family in need, and change the facts of childhood cancer.

Don’t wait for it to be a child you know and love. Act now. Together, we can make a difference.

Today.

My Day in Dora Band Aids

I have to start off this blog entry by acknowledging that the story I am about to relate is most likely going to make me sound completely insane.

I am ok with that. There are those who will understand. And, I am confident that Ylaria would approve, which is really all that matters.

Yesterday was, as you know (at the very least from my last blog entry), the start of Childhood Cancer Awareness month. I intended to mark the month with a platelet donation at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. My iron levels, on the other hand, had other ideas. My counts were way too low and I was (very kindly) rejected. I am fortifying myself on iron-rich foods for another attempt in a few weeks. 

In addition to donating platelets, I had another mission in mind yesterday. For some time, Belen and I had been talking about walking around NYC together and leaving Dora band aids in Ylaria's favorite places. A tribute to Ylaria, if you will, a marker that would say, in its own small way: "Ylaria was here".  I started yesterday.

I left the first band aid on the 6 train sign in the Union Square subway. (You can sort of see it in this picture.) It may seem strange since Ylaria and I were never there together, but this place is significant to me because it is the train I would take to go see Ylaria after work. I know it sounds strange, but every time I pass that sign, I remember running down the stairs to get the uptown 6 train to 68th Street (the stop closest to MSKCC and the RMH). I remember the excitement I would feel at getting to see Ylaria and her family and how incredibly impatient I could get over the 45 minute commute. I miss my trips on the 6 train.

After this little Ylaria stop, I walked over to my office building and placed another band aid on the step outside the main door. Why? Because it's where I was standing the first time Gino asked me to babysit Ylaria so that he could run some errands. "Would I mind coming for 20 minutes?", he asked. "Of course not!", I responded. I stayed for two hours. That was the first of countless visits. I wish I could make some more. (There is no photo of this band aid.) 

My last band aid stop for the day was near the entrance for MSKCC (above). After I was denied my platelet donation, I walked outside and placed it very carefully on the sidewalk. Someone saw me snapping the picture and said: "Are you really taking a picture of a Dora band aid on the sidewalk." And I said. "Yes." (very definitively) and walked away. I am certain he thought I was insane. He doesn't understand the significance of Dora band aids.

After this picture, I did something I wasn't planning on doing at all. I walked into MSKCC. I can honestly say now that the need to walk in that building was my driving force at the time. When the security guard asked me where I was going, I told him I was going to peds on the 9th floor. He let me through. I walked into the gift shop and looked around. I saw things that I knew Ylaria would like. I saw chocolates that I remember sharing with Belen on one of my many visits there. Then, I got on the elevator and took it up to the 9th floor. I got out, stood in the hall for a moment, and then took the elevator down again. A nurse saw me then and said, "You just missed the elevator" (she did not see me get off initially.) I replied that I had missed my stop. The lump in my throat was too big to explain any more.

I am completely aware that in sharing the above, I sound completely insane. I can assure you, I am not. It's hard to explain. Impossible, actually. All I can say is that I wanted to do something to honor Ylaria yesterday. I wanted to spend some time reliving moments that I had shared with her. Some people feeling a need to remember a loved one might light candles. Others might choose to release balloons. I leave Dora band aids in places that most remind me of Ylaria. I smile every time I pass them now.

I did not raise any great degree of awareness on my venture . I'll be making more lanyards for Erin's Dream Lanyards and gold ribbons for Kids Cancer Crusade this weekend. But, yesterday, I needed to start my month with a tribute to one of my very best and most cherished friends: Ylaria, a soul who taught me so much about strength, and courage, and laughter, and love, and the pure magic of being alive.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

Today is the first day of September. September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

Do something this month...every single day to raise awareness for this important cause. Working together we can make sure that a cure is found. The suffering of children and their families can stop. I truly believe this.

Too many children have lost their battles: Manny, Ylaria, Christi, Erin, Kayla, Liam, Sydney, Alex, Mary, Matty, Tyler...the list is endless.

Too many are still fighting: Elizabeth, Codey, Spencer, Emily, Maddux, Nathan, Joshua, Dominique....another endless list.

And many more will be diagnosed. Today. And tomorrow and all month long.

There is simply no more time to wait.

Together, we can make a change. Let's start. Now.

Today, I am going to donate some platelets at MSKCC. What are you going to do?

http://www.kidscancerfight.org/index.php

An update

It's been a while since I have posted. And, I thought I would give a very brief update on my life. So here we go...

1. I am back in full run training now. My Christi run is scheduled for September 25th. (I am raising money for one of my favorite organizations. Ever: Kids Cancer Crusade. Any donations would be greatly appreciated! This is the only race in NYC that fit into my schedule for the fall. It's meant to be a marathon training for NYC marathon runners and is 18 miles long. I will NOT be running that distance. I'm aiming for 7-8 miles and will be using it as a good gauge for the half-marathon I am going to be running in Disneyland in January with some amazing friends of mine. I can't begin to tell you how excited I am for this Disneyland run. Seeing my friends is the highlight, though I have to admit that the prospect of running in a pink and yellow tutu is also up there on the list of reasons this is going to be one amazing adventure.

2. Did I tell you my family got a dog? His name is Charlie and he is a riot. Training is....going. Being a Nunez family dog, he understands Spanish (quite possibly more than English). He mostly understands "sientate" (sit). We're trying to work on "salta" (jump) but it's a slow process. He loves sardines which I fully appreciate. He also loves tortilla chips and, for some reason, when he sees me eating them, he automatically assumes he can jump up and grab it from my hand. It's funny...except for that one time he managed to get into a bag (LITERALLY) and eat a ton. My snack was gone before I could even enjoy it.

3. As you may know from previous posts, I went on 30-day sugar free challenge. It was a really great experience. So much so that I am adopting it into my lifestyle permanently. This does NOT mean I won't be eating sweets. It just means that they will be naturally sweetened and processed sugar will be enjoyed sparingly, if at all. I am making a few other health changes these days which I will go into on another day.

4. I am looking forward to the fall. Really, really, really looking forward to the fall. I do not like the summer. It's too hot and way too humid and in NYC, that just means it is really gross. Fall is my favorite season. (October possibly being my favorite month). I love the crisp air and the way the leaves change color. I love the sound of the leaves crunching under my feet when I run and walk. In my opinion, there is no better time to run outside than in the fall. I am counting down the days to running outside with no heat or really disgusting humidity. I am already looking forward to buying crisp apples and delicious (sugar-free) apple cider at the farmer's market near my work. Fall also means I get to wear sweatshirts and go apple-picking and eat sweet potatoes or my favorite black bean and avocado soup. Fall also means I can enjoy my favorite bedtime tea and I can bake without feeling like my kitchen is the oven. This list could go on, but I will stop now.

5. I have started watching the show Bones thanks to my amazing friend, C. who sent me seasons 1-3 for my birthday. I was resistant to watching it at first, I'll be honest, but boy did I get hooked! (I apparently really love crime shows.)

I hope you're all doing well. More soon!

Olivia

Happy Birthday, Manny

Today is Manny’s birthday. He would have been 31.

I love birthdays. If you know me, you know this: I absolutely love birthdays. (Especially when it’s my own!), but I think birthdays, in general, are pretty awesome. Sixteen years ago I realized just how very precious they are. You’re never promised a new day, yet alone a whole new year. When a birthday rolls around, you have to honor it. You have to celebrate your day and all of the hope that your new year offers. If not for yourself, than at the very least for all of those souls (& their loved ones) who wish they could blow out their own candles just one more time. Birthdays are a blessing, a gift that the Universe bestows on only some. They deserve to be cherished and filled with as much love, chocolate laughter, silliness, gratitude, and life we can muster.

I woke up today thinking about Manny. And about birthdays. I remembered just how much I love celebrating Manny’s birthday with him. I loved baking his cake— chocolate with vanilla frosting…and as many sprinkles as the cake could hold. I loved selecting his birthday card (A task I always take seriously. The card is my favorite part of any gift. A great card says as much of love and thanks and friendship as you can put into words. Selecting the right card is essential. Finding the right words even more so. ) I loved spending the day with Manny. I loved celebrating him, and seeing him smile, and hearing him laugh. It’s been a very long time since I have been able to do any of this; I remembered it all today. Not in a sad way that makes me think of what I have lost, but in that gentle way that makes me smile and realize the great gift I had in my life for 11 years: Manny.

I spent some time thinking of ways I could appropriately honor him. I may have even sent up a little prayer asking him what he thought would suffice. Manny answered. Of this I am completely sure because out of nowhere, I heard his voice: Just have fun! Do what makes you happy. Spend time with people you love. Just like that, my big brother sent me his birthday message.

His birthday now, is not only a day on which I can remember him and our many moments together, but a day on which I can honor Life and chose to live it. Completely. And I did. I ran really great Christi run. I read an amazing book that I simply can’t put down (April 1865). I shared cookies I’d baked with friends (peanut butter and chocolate—yum!). I asked Ylaria to give him a big hug for me. I laughed a lot and hugged friends too. I noticed the sky. I called abuela just to say “Hi” and “I love you.” I went out to dinner with my sisters. We didn’t talk about it really, but we all knew why we’d made a special effort to be together tonight. And, on the way home, we played Bon Jovi and sang “Livin on a Prayer” at the top of our lungs. Manny was there for all of it.

Happy Birthday, Manny. We love you.

Life's Little Instructions

(Click on the image to make it bigger)
I saw this the other day and I thought, what else would I add?

Here are some:

* Sit in silence at least once a day.

* "Be" in every moment.

* Read books.

* Practice the art of reverence.

* Exercise.

* Laugh. A lot.

* Send Christmas cards (in the mail).

* Send handwritten letters (in the mail) just because.

* Walk barefoot in the grass.

* Look at the sky.

* Give hugs.

* Know it's ok to cry.

* Push yourself out of your comfort zone.

* Learn constantly.

* Don't lie.

* Be open to hearing other point(s) of view.

* Donate blood/platelets.

* Walk in the rain, and in the snow, and in the sun. Walk. A lot.

* Eat vegetables.

* Be grateful.

* Remember those that have gone before you. Don't forget the living.

* Sing out LOUD.

What else would you add?

It's that most wonderful time of the year!

It’s that most wonderful time of the year again! The time where I get to tell you that I am preparing for this year’s Christi Thomas Memorial Run for Kids Cancer Crusade. This year the race will take place on Sunday, September 25^th.

2011 marks the 5^th year I’ll be running in Christi’s memory. Five years. Five years is a very long time. And while I wish I didn’t have a reason to run every year, while I wish Christi could share her own story with you, in the absence of that possibility, I am here to once again, share with you the brilliant wonder that is my dear friend, Christi Thomas.

I was amazed by Christi from the moment I met her. She was 5 years old at the time and unbelievably brave, as all children grow to be when faced with cancer. Despite her young age, Christi was incredibly wise and completely selfless. She took care of the other children in the hospital and was often more concerned about their pain than her own. She always visited her friends and brought them gifts when she went in for treatment. Her love and kindness brought them much needed smiles. Christi was a ray of sunshine in the pediatric cancer wing. From the beginning, Christi inspired me to be a better person—to give more, to love more, to laugh more, to believe more. She still does.

I adored Christi’s love of books and learning. I remember thinking it was amazing that there was someone else out there that loved learning as much as I did. (Even though, Christi was much, much smarter!) Christi is with me every time I enter a library and every time I miss my stop on the bus because I am so engrossed in my book. (This happens more than I care to admit. It seems I have a problem.)

Most especially, Christi is with me on my morning “Christi run”. Some of you have asked me what a “Christi run” is. Simply, it’s how I refer to my 4:30am run. I used to just do a plain old run in the morning until I realized it was much more fun to picture Christi running beside me. At 4:30am, I need some motivation and inspiration to get up when my alarm goes off. Saying, “I need to get up for my Christi run” provides just that! And then, once a year, I participate in a race in Christi’s memory to raise money for Kids Cancer Crusade. And, perhaps most importantly, to have another moment to share Christi with you. Christi deserves to be remembered and this world still needs her wonder shared among us.

Thank you for all of your support and love and kindness over the years. If you could donate again this year, it would be appreciated. Together, we’ll keep Christi’s legacy alive and support the great work of Kids Cancer Crusade. Thank you!

To donate: http://active.com/donate/christirun2011

To learn more about KCC: http://kidscancercrusade.org/

I love you!
Olivia